Painting the Town... Brown

So the humans have this device that shoots paralyzing flashes of light....they crowd around it and it appears to bring them much joy! Tres Bizzare. I've concluded that they have been using it to spy on me and tarnish my image... I decided to delete incriminating evidence the olde fashion way, with a lil' toilet bowl water.

Apparently I'm facing a more clever foe than expected, as I look on the table I see these incriminating photos of me in very embarrassing situations. Clearly trying to profit off of me with the local tabloid, I decided to inform my fans and the countless people waiting in dante's fifth level of hell ( duane reade purchasing lines) what's really happened.

OK so Thursday night I decide to throw an impromptu get together...some pate and evian witty discussion.... As we were making our way over to the sofa for some catch up conversation, Fat Human pulls out the mind control spying device. So Bailey who, might I add was looking rather svelt that evening, turns around and Calvin is looking towards my favorite corner of the sofa. Unfortunately I was captured with my mouth open...not the most impressive shot of me, but I digress.



Later that evening things progressed and we got a lil' frisky. I mean we were drinking, having some fine food... it's bound to happen. I may or may not have slipped something in Bailey's drink... I'll leave it at that. Anyways I had her where I wanted her, and as I made my move.... CALVIN! Older brothers, what can I say... I aint mad 'atcha, I got nothing but love for ya... besides the slipping benedryll in drinks is soo lame... I can't believe I stooped so low.
  


So I had a few more drinks...hey I know... "I'm the host and I should set the tone for the night"... yeah mission accomplished... unfortunately I was short of glamorous as we left my little social for a group n' poop...and emm...well the picture speaks for itself.


Look, if there's one thing I've learned about the city is no one cares: You live life to the fullest and write your own rules. I started the night as Hugh Hefner and ended it as Britney Spears.... Good times. - McLovin.